I didn’t write much during my chemo experience. There are a handful of chicken scratch journal pages that are the result of a noble impetus to chronicle my practices so that my success story could aid another woman one day, and I’m so grateful for my large ego. Now, I have evidence of the languorous tempo and indolent tone that were among the gifts of chemotherapy in the Summer of 2009. It was the slowest and laziest Summer I’ve ever known. Perhaps it was the drugs, or perhaps it was my deep surrender to the process, or perhaps it was the heat and the nature of Summer, and, most probably it was all of these that granted me permission to indulge in genuine lethargy. It is those memories that I draw on to remind me that a snail’s pace can be sublime particularly in today’s extreme heat.
These are those memories:
July 25, 2009
In some ways it seems that the Summer is just beginning for me. This morning, I wiped off the picnic table in our gazebo for the first time and thought about the potential for writing and eating and maybe even entertaining out there. I’d forgotten some of my Summer pleasures while so focused on providing a “normal” Summer for my daughter.
In the weeks since the lymph node dissection (June 15th), I’ve managed to work part-time consistently, make numerous visits to the hospital for repeated drainings of the seroma (lymph fluid balloon) as well as for treatment consultations, attend a variety of healing circles, start chemo on July 16th, make a dedication to the Goddess, take 10 girls to Krazy City for my girl’s 12th birthday party, drive to and from three different day camps, plus enjoy my garden; but I had yet to clean up the outdoor furniture which is usually the first thing I do to welcome Summer.
I’m doing fairly well after my first week of chemo. Actually, I’m exceptionally well as is evidenced by all the activities I’m able to maintain. “Fairly” just speaks to the fact that I feel different: I feel dry inside. Sometimes I feel like there’s fire burning the inside surface of my skin. The feeling resembles an image of the charred remains of the forest floor after the tall trees, plants, and brush have gone up in flames. They say that fires are a necessary cleansing for new growth in a forest. I regard the chemical burn as baptism by fire.
[My energy for crafting sentences dwindled at this point in the journal session and thus I start to jot notes.]
Things I’ve done so far to support self during chemo:
- Continue with Reiki circle.
- For the first few days after infusion I did 1 oz of wheatgrass daily to alleviate the predicted constipation from the support drugs. I also followed the doc’s instructions and took Senakot. Plus I drank prune juice which was tastier than the wheatgrass. (All green things were particularly yucky during chemo, so I held my nose and tossed the wheatgrass back.)
- Followed the instructions for the support drugs and I did find that the nausea was not bad. (details about support drugs will follow)
- Made a big jug of lemon and fresh ginger water, and kept a tall glass by my side at all times during the three down days.
- Took Tylenol for the back pain caused by the Neulasta shot given to boost white blood cell count, but I’m thinking that breathing and light yoga stretches like the child’s pose are the way to go.
- I put antioxidants away as instructed but I continue to take *oregano oil to support immune system *calcium magnesium zinc *L-Lysine to prevent the mouth sores that supposedly are a side effect of chemo. [IMPORTANT NOTE: I NEVER GOT MOUTH SORES AND I DID NOT NEED THE “MAGIC MOUTHWASH” THE HOSPITAL PROVIDED WHICH I FULLY ATTRIBUTE TO INGESTING L-LYSINE. There’s topical l-lysine that cures mouth ulcers almost instantly too.] *Kelp – iodine & iron – to strengthen immune system and combat fatigue * Primrose Omega 3’s – I don’t know why but it’s supposed to be great for women and I wish to honor and support my femininity. ***NOTE: ALL SUPPLEMENTS ARE TAKEN WITH HEALING INTENT SPOKEN OR VISUALIZED***
[The following notes are from an insight that I needed to be proactive due to the discomforts experienced in my first infusion. Perhaps control is an illusion; but I felt I could participate or co-create, or attempt to customize my healing experience.]
Things I will do to support myself during chemo:
- My intentions for my next infusion are to advocate for a great nurse.
- I will ask my new nurse to participate with loving intentions particularly when she pumps the Adriamycin.
- I will ask Reade (my husband) to assist by doing the Brazilian Toe Technique (details to follow) or a foot massage as a sort of uninformed reflexology session.
- I will meditate and visualize the red-colored Adriamycin as a Rose Elixir or Essence and the clear-colored Cytoxan as a Crystal Essence – both with high healing vibrations.
To be continued…
L.
I am continually amazed by your writing and your process. I can think of myself as burdened by discomfort in my knees (ok, painful) annoying neuropath. I hear – positive, positive, positive. And I get that from you, no matter what
Thank you, Connie, for following my blog, for your unwavering support, and for taking time to comment. The dialogue is so meaningful and energizing. BIG HUG, L.
[…] I was prepared with a bunch of props to support my plan to customize my chemo experience. I brought along a sheet of instructions for the Brazilian Toe […]
I always take lysine supplements when doing some heavy bodybuilding. Lysine can help in easily restoring torn down muscles.,;:;’
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